so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
