You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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