Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
