it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
