:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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