whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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