big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
