You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
