so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Randomize
