He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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