Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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