its not stalking. its research.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
