no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
