we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
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