Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
