If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
