i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
