i'm signing you up for texting rehab
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
