Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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