i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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