I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
