so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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