Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
