Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Randomize
