i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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