so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
