i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
