Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
