Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
