his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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