i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
