Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
