i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
