Jerry, you need to find god
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
