i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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