i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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