I love black thongs
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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