my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Is her dick bigger than yours?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
