D3 body, D1 cock
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
