i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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