She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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