You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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