Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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