i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
