How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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