i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
