it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
