I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Can I color on your dick again?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
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