Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
