"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
